bpb Review: Tease

Cheesy. That’s probably the most accurate (and charitable) way to describe Tease, Hughes Road’s newest coffee shop. The décor, overwhelmingly orange and punctuated by “Tease” T-shirts and faux brick walls, is cheesy; philosophical words of wisdom (Coffee is not a matter of life or death, it is much more important than that) are cheesy; sandwiches, potatoes, pasta are cheesy.

Table Tantrums, Real and Imagined

Also available are soups and quiches, falafel and molten chocolate cake, all of which, the menu assures, are vegetarian (Jain options available as well). We started with the spinach quiche, which was crumbly, overtly eggy and largely tasteless. It was served with suspiciously yellow potato salad that looked and tasted like something you’d get served on a low-cost airline.

Nearby, a baby cheerfully upended a half-finished basket of bread onto his table. One bite of our falafel sandwich – made with grilled toast instead of pita, stuffed with falafel balls with the consistency of densely chewy dates – and we wished we could do the same. The sandwich came with a side of seriously excellent fries, though; crispy, piping hot and coated with salt, they were worth the entire meal.

Hopeful Hints

Maybe it was the dismal expectations set by its precedents, but our Pasta Arrabiata surprised us by how good it was, aromatic, spicy and heartily filling. We wondered why a kitchen capable of producing a relatively sophisticated dish like that faltered so badly with a straightforward sandwich.

Skip Tease

When we asked our waiter that very same question, he seemed just as flummoxed as us. He did however, apologise profusely. The service at Tease is one of its few high points – fast and friendly. Another is its reasonable prices, with our entire meal costing less than Rs 400. But you’ll spend less than that at nearby Sukh Sagar, and a little more at Kobe’s next door, which serves sizzlers that might have seen better days but are still pretty hot.

So our advice to you is this: skip Tease and take your hunger down the block.

Getting There: Tease, Sukh Sagar building, Hughes Road, call 66102345 / 9920765864.